The beef of contention

Why is it so easy to "hurt" someone's sentiment, and hurt it so bad that a fellow human being should be slaughtered in the most savage way for retribution?? 

If belonging to a geography, and sharing and making history for centuries isn't a qualification enough to be belonging, then what is? How is it that the Muslim living across my street is any lesser of an Indian than me? Hell, he or she may have done a lot more for this country than I could have ever done in my life time? And even he hasn't, unless he has harmed a fellow human being, how is it my right to judge him on his right to existence in this country? 

And then we have potheads like these who are our co-Gen Y!!!

"Instead, he asked us that after the partition, when it had been decided that Hindus will stay here and Muslims will go to Pakistan, why did Gandhi and Nehru ask Muslims stay back in India?"

The debates that such incidents spin off is sometimes even more disturbing than the incident itself! The amount of poison spewed, the hatred and intolerance in hearing out someone else' point. You try talking some sense into someone and you are branded "pseudo-secular", "sickular", "infidel", a "commi" or a coward!! Well breaking news, it's not any of these, it's sometimes just plain common sense and patience!! Why can't someone be genuinely tolerant and secular without an agenda in this country? Of course we don't have the best examples of that as our leaders now, but one individual does have the capacity to be an example. When one condemns senseless violence, one needn't necessarily be anti-Modi or anti-Sangh, he or she is just condemning that act and the hatred that caused it or is spawned by it. I'd say I'm glad that the discussion is happening in a virtual world, else there could have been a blood bath in no time.

Also, the whole debate of "where were you when they did the same to our guys" is even more nonsense. Yes, there are a bunch of hooligans in every religion, and such acts by any of these people is a violation of humanity. But one act of violence doesn't justify another, nor does it reduce the dent caused by the loss. It's ironic how you have the empathy for a victim who has died miles away, you lose all the love you had for your neighbor in your quest for retribution. 

Yes, I'm the pseudo intellect who is going to shrug all this off and get back to my life of making money, and making merry. These incidents keep happening in different parts of the world, and yet I go on with my life. But I do have a conscience, which if not entirely clean, isn't polluted or marred by anything that I had done. I pray (to my God, who I believe in as any regular Hindu) that I don't harm anyone, I help someone in whatever li'l way I could, and most importantly, I sleep peacefully at night. 

Nostalgia

"How sad and bad and mad it was - but then, how it was sweet" - Robert Browning.

Now isn't that so right on the mark. You may have gone through hell; the nerve wrecking' exams, the back breaking hikes to school, the assignments that went on like a vicious cycle, the spanks and the scoldings for the never ending list of reasons, the miserable class tests and the intense urge to grow up and step out to a Man's world! Despite all this, I have always looked back at my childhood with a tinge of grin; nostalgic and regretful of having crossed it too quick. Even the worst days back then, seems like a memorable page in my mental diary. I often slip into the past and relive those lost moments. And what is alarming is how your judgement of every incident, situation and people had been so off the mark back then. With a bit of sense, rationale and humanity thrown into them, all seems well.

As a promise to myself last new year's eve, I have embarked on a journey to jot down the faint remains from my memory, of the nostalgia that drives me, good, bad or ugly! The ones that deserve to be kept alive will find it's way to JD BuzZing's page!! :)


Presenting, the "Blast from the Past" Anthology!!!

Macho "woman"??????

How feminine can a guy be, before he is labelled a "Gay", or in odd cases, a "Lady"!! :)

The question may have been a tad too sexist, but, is totally relevant. This however, has no reference to the metro-sexual path that many guys seem to be taking these days. Those are of course the cliches, and far too obvious to be considered an "issue". The reactions to occasional manicure, pedicure or facial, ranges from being frowned upon to varying magnitude of offensive-to-"man"kind, lacking the you-know-what and in some cases, even "Unnatural". Come on, some guys just wanna stay clean. Being rugged, rough, unclean or burly doesn't necessarily save you from being gurly...! :P

And of course, the universally accepted unmanly thing. Being associated with anything "Pink". Men hate pink and women love 'em. And thus, Pink is not just the girly color, it violates your existence as a MAN! :) Yup, no pink shirts, no pink watches, no pink phones, no pink anything. Of course, girls may dig those pink cheeks on some cute guys, but that's the only excuse to be associated with the color.

But how much ever we deny, any guy would have a tinge of "softy" in him. Of course, the amount varies. It's like the threshold for pain, or the tolerance for gore. It varies in each guy, but definitely evident in all, at least in traces. As an obvious choice, I'd have to make myself the guinea pig here for sample. :)

Here it goes.

I can't deny that my eyes may have welled up during an occasional movie here and there. Of course, breaking down to tears is not my thing. I just stop at slightly moist eyes.That's where my "threshold" kicks in. :)

I like couple of Lavender Shirts, as long as it isn't pink. Of course, I strive hard to prove that it ain't pink. When you can;t convince them, confuse them. And if that doesn't work either, live in denial. Pink is definitely  not part of the rainbow and That's my threshold. :)

I may have caught a few daily soaps a while. But that have been more out of curiosity stemmed out of the abysmal levels of silliness of these shows. I can never stand these otherwise, not even if I have nothing else under the sun to do. What I could enjoy are sitcoms, reality TV, Candid Camera and ocassional dramas.  That's my threshold. :)

I may have sat through a few Rom Coms and yearned, "Why couldn't they have ended up together?", or "Why can't that b@#$ understand him?". So what? I just liked the movie, and got pretty involved. Probably a bit more than I'd have liked, but whats wrong in being a bit expressive. But again, no tears of joy, or tears of any kind. That's my threshold. :)

I may have occasionally taken more than 20 mins to choose the right pair of jeans. Well, that's cuz I like buying the best and be sure about it. Not cuz I wanna get a better pair than my friend, or to be that I make heads turn. Just to be plain sure that I get a good pair. But again, I don;t venture beyond those 20 mins.. :)  I have my threshold. :)

I have blushed a few times at compliments. Well, quite a lot of times actually. :) Who wouldn't like to hear a few nice words once in a while? I'd get super excited if someone thinks that my car is dashing, my game is cool or my driving is racy. Oh yeah.. that's a guy thingy. But I don't turn all rosy and strange-faced when I hear one. I don't crave for one every hour. I don't care what people think about my weight or my hair or my face. That's my threshold. :)

I don't mind an occasional gossip. Information is knowledge, knowledge is power. A harmless bit of news exchanged here and there is empowering. And of course, this information needs to flow, if you don't want to end up being the "kuen ka mendak" (literally reads, frog in the well).:)  But the average standard of the content of such exchanges are usually better when it changes hands via guys, and it's not always blooming affairs or cynical jibes. (One exception is that, a gossip involving a Hot Chick is always an exception. ;) ) Also, we usually know better when something has to stay a secret. That's my threshold. :)

But some stereotypes will always remain, in me, and in any guy who is proud of being in Adam's bloodline. We don't hug and make up, unless we are drunk or on the field..! :D We love naughty jokes, fart jokes,add-"in the bed"-at-the-end jokes. and anything remotely funny that involves, kicking, crunching or smashing of the nads, and we would go to any extent until we L Our FAO!!  :D We would never compliment another guy on his looks, but nor would we turn back and curse the same guy..!! :D We don't use long tresses of a another as a weapon during our fights. We have "Man"ly ways of dealing with violence..!! :D We are never confused while choosing between a cute puppy and a Smokin' Blonde..! :D

Keep the man in you alive. Keep him kicking. Keep him the king. Let the girl in you make a Nicer Man, but not beyond that! :)

An Amrikan sophomore!

As an 8 year old, I had once promised my Granny, "I will take yout to america when i grow up!"'. She would flash a wide grin, which I was too young to be able to interpret.May be she was smiling at my innocence, may be she was forcing one, to mask her sympathy for me, dreaming of the impossible. or may be she had liked the prospect. But whatever it was, my mind had set it as the foremost goal an average middleclass Malayalee, a kind of goal after which one can attain Nirvana or have Moksha.

America was a dream land, a land of oppurtunities back then. But for me, at 8, it was a land of "black" and "white" people (rather strange for the "brown" population that I belong to). a land of tall skycrapers and mind blowing roller coasters, a land free of heat and dust that we used to get baked in, a land of beautiful white snow in X'mas (courtesy Home Alone 2 and other NY movies). My friends had goals of being Doctor, engineer, pilot and Armyman, while I secretly garnished my desire to achieve any goddamn thing that would take me across the seas to my dream land.

Years passed, and the 8 year old's innocent yet low on IQ head was being sucked off his fantasies and facts started finding its place there. Slowly, the idea of ending up in the States was no longer as lucrative as it had seemed before. The interests started branching out to more sensible, practical and important things in life. After a while, the whole dream was locked up in the LIMBO, never to be be dreamt again!!

13 years later, when i set foot on the IT bandwagon, America (among other countries, though they were lesser mentioned) was an oft heard and said word in daily office life.  (I need to mention, this was largely because I work for a bank that had America in it's name and a good chunk of folks worked from the US :) ). But throughout this tenure, it never seemed a great thing after all. We had other attractions to pay attention to. Life kept meandering aimlessly for close to 2 years,  mostly in company of a bunch of lovely friends, and sometimes halting for an MBA dream and sometimes other absurd stuffs. One fine day, I was told by my lead, "You game to head to the US for couple of years? ".I said, "why not?".With no trace of exhilarating excitement. Of course, it was too soon for that kind of reaction, since I never got time to let it sink in.

Hectic Procedures, hefty shopping and last minute scramble to meet my folks followed; to get myself "America ready". Still no signs of the "skip-a-beat" kind of reaction; only exhaustion and to be done with the awful lot of formalities ASAP.

Finally, the day arrived, when I was seen off at the airport, and was left alone, waiting to board the flight. My mind started wandering to every nook and corner, to kill the awful amount of time I had in hand. The next round of thoughts was of course, the expected. Drifting away from friends, missing family, missing home etc etc. I ran out of those too, after which I had to venture further into the past. May be because this was the first time in ages that I was given so much time all for myself, with nothing to do. The flashbacks played across and made a sudden screech at the 8 year old boy, with his lofty promise to his granny!!!. "Wait a minute", I wondered, "Wasn't this the ultimate goal of my life, when an 8 year old brain was at the helm? Shouldn't I be giving some respect to that little boy? He should be given a chance to be elated when "his" dream has caught a second wind in "my" life. For once, I let "him" take over and spent the rest of the time at the airport, watching "him" jump in joy and howl in excitement.

This was only the first of numerous occasions when I kind of, let "him" rule the time. It is much like a Sachin century. The "li'l" Jithu would be pale and cold, when Sachin nears it. His life shuts down for a while if he gets out, and when he scores a ton, he celebrates as if there is no tomorrow. I don't do that now often. But once in a while, I love it when I forget myself and start celebrating like crazy.

Throughout the first year, quite a lot of poignant (a bit over the top I know) moments were sprinkled every now and then, where a more sensible me would take a back seat! The first drive on a super quick Interstate highway, the first walk across the concrete jungle of a downtown, the first ride on a mighty roller coaster, the first black leather jacket, the first snow, the first skiing trip, the first fall, the first spring, the first time in NY (Oh yeah! NY is always special.. even to the "grown up" me! ) and not just that, the little things I had picked up while I grew up, including the movies, series (F.R.I.E.N.D.s has a lot to do with my love for NY). cartoons etc, were all coming to life and scrolling right in front of my eyes. these were "Let the kid out" moments for me!

After a year of excitement, surprises and joy, sandwiched with moments of stress (thanks to the work), broken love, anxiety and home sickness, I am into my sophomore year. Waiting eagerly, for the new bouts of joy and fun for the 8 year old. After all who wouldn't wanna stay young. Let the kid show you the way once in a while! :)

Here is a toast to the young brat, who keeps me driving, always!!

Yennaa Rascalaa...!!! Chak de phatte!!! :D

Yesterday I just happened to call one of my best friends, a "Ganwaar Bihaari". As chauvinistic and abusive as it may sound, I would never say something so terrible to any person, let alone someone as dear as her! It was just a unnecessary adjective, spoken on impulse in our regular conversation, where we keep taking shots at each other! However, that kind of sparked off a thought which has always played on my mind, but never managed to put it on a piece of paper. (Though this doesn't count as a paper, i'll settle for the literal web "page". :) ). The South/ North Indian and even deeper and absurd debates and conflicts that stays as a silent devil among a huge chunk of the Indian youth ( LOL, sometimes I take myself way too seriously!!! Never mind! :D ) In plain words.. the battle of the Gujjus and biharis versus the Madrasis.. ;)

Statutary Warning : Just because I am writing this piece, doesn't in any way suggest that I am endorsing this idea. In fact I find it revolting and hate anyone who keeps poking on the "region" card.

India is inherently a very diverse nation, the origins being as different as Mongols to Arabs to Dravidians. It just happened that a hard headed, pampered and pompous empire decided to exploit a group of kingdoms, for their merry ways of trade and fun, and hence, came into existence, our INDIA. It was a result of a hard fought revolution of the oppressed lot against a single enemy. Though, we'd need to thank them for building a single entity out of a such a diverse group of cultures, we haven't done ourselves any good by still keeping a boundary between each other. A guy from Tamil Nadu marrying a girl from Punjab is still taboo. These can still be tolerated as long as they don't hurt anyone else. But the reality is, the divide still persists and it comes to the fore in those odd moments of frustration or conflict.

First of all, what bemuses me is the prejudice. An "Indian from the north" (I really don't like the tone of "North Indian") has such a superficial view about an Indian from South (this is getting tiring. Lemme just call 'em IN and IS.). What more evidence do you need than the fact that any guy below Maharashtra is a "Madrasi" for INs. I was called a Madrasi when I stepped into college. Not that these particular people had any grudge against me, we did get along too well through our college life. But they just were blind sighted towards a possible life form here, down south. I used to quip initially, "Hey Bihari.. Mind your language!". And then comes the response, "Dude.. I am from UP"! "So, now u see the difference heh?"

Well, its not really fair to blame just them. Neither do some of us, South Indians, see what is life up North, and obviously many of us lack the "breadth" to accommodate the possibility of lives so diverse on either sides.

However, bring some pragmatism in this real world, and a probable dissolution of the Wheatish North and a dusky south is "hoping against hope". There would definitely be differences; there would definitely be clash of faith; there would definitely be collision in taste. A hunk from Delhi would frown upon the lungi wearing population; dosa and idli are definitely not on the list of his favorite delicacies, whereas Namma Chennai will never prefer starting the day with Aaloo Paratha, or settle for a lassi instead of a hot and piping filter coffee. Even the movies and the stars both the parties love are as similar as chalk and cheese. You have more chances of finding resemblance between French cinema and a Hollywood production, than listing the similarities between a "superstar" and a King Khan flick. For starters, King Khan would never have as passionate a fan following that the "superstar" could boast of. The list of differences prolong so much that, we don't seem to have a consensus in celebrating the same festival on the same day :D. "Diwali" and "Deepavali" ain't one single holiday. (It's like how Americans preferred staying different from British English with the subtle change of spellings and lingo. :) )

One has to be highly optimistic, with all these, to hope that we are gonna live as one, and scrub away the differences. By the most charitable disposition, some sanity in conduct and being cordial, are the best we can hope for, between the 2 "races". But even to achieve this, we have a long way to go. To be frank, I take exception to the regular banter being considered offensive. It's sometimes such light hearted dabs at each other that can sow the seeds for a rather "friendly" future.! Let's hope for that..!

I wanna wake up to a day where my friend, a certain Ashish Gupta, yearns for a crunchy dosa with piping hot sambhar while rushing  to a Rajni Magnum opus in Namma chennai, while Mr. Mugesh Mylsamy gobbles a couple of dozens of "gol gappas", with the slightest effort to conceal the slurps and burps before breaking into a Bhangra disco number and a Patiala Peg. Some "Maa-Behan" expletives would have made the unison more profound, but knowing Mugesh, he'd be too shy to mouth all the profanities!!! :)

Friend indeed..................!

Post 3 :


friend

   [frend]  Show IPA

–noun

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.

a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter

3.

a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

Quoting from the dictionary doesn't, by any stretch of imagination, define what a friend is. After all how can a uni-dimensional inanimate bunch of words and meanings define a term full of life zest and complexity. Friend, Dost, koottukaaran, nanban, well whatever you call it, the word holds a lot of value and gravity. 

My life has been a mixed bag. I have been very close to many and a friend to many. Now one may ask, "why the distinction?" Of course there is. A friend is not a mere acquaintance, not a mere relation; it has to be moulded between two souls and woven into a bond.He he.. :D now the added embarrassing dose of philosophy owes its origin to the solitude that I am undergoing right now! My pics on FB or the amazing time that I am having may not truly explain this statement. But before i really clarify I should lay out how this works.

Guys can be broadly classified into 3 kind. First, the ever so common, life-is-fun-so-get-a-chick-or-get-drunk kind of folks. They don't really run on emotions. Its just "fun" and a good level of alcohol/girls/movies/games/travel (or all of these) that drive 'em. They don't really need a "friend" friend. All they need is someone to get drunk with, someone who thinks that a Megan Fox or a Deepika Padukone is hot, someone to go places and do stuffs with. As long as he has "that"' someone he could count on, he will always be happy. Every guy has this bit in him.  (Ref. : Def. no.. 3)

However, not all guys are dogs, only around 80% are.. (Yup thats true :) ). So counting this kind out, we are left with a considerably smaller population. They, however, are the complex ones. The ones who need fun, yet need a bit of emotional drive to thrive on. They 'd definitely need a support who would be there to consume and more importantly, conceal, his joy, his agony, his pain and the "secrets". Yup, the stress is indeed on the "conceal" part, cuz guyz are guyz! and they'll never let any sort of weakness, that might tarnish their "Machismo", be visible.

This myth is kind of very obviouz, and the make-belief kind of works. Like, in the conversation between Manny and Ellie in Ice Age, when she suspects that something is bothering Diego, she says "May be you should talk to him." Manny quips "What??? guyz don't talk to guyz about guy problemz. We just hit each other on the shoulder"! Well.. probably this is why these guys are more comfy revealing their manly escapades to everyone, but not the meek  emotions. (Ref. : Def. no.. 2).

Strangely, girls understand this part of a guy more than a guy. Cuz girls show patience and understand the fact that guys are after all human, unlike guys, who think guys are wild animals and that a crying guy is.. well... a girl! :D Any attempt to seek solace will be welcomed with taunts! :)

Now the third kind is at the other end of the balance. This tribe comes with a tag of being "endangered", yet you may bump into one at every stage of life. They are extremely emotional, and tend to "pour out" a lot. They are harmless as long as they choose the right person to confess to. But when one of these guyz go on a spree, that spells doom. I, and many more I know, usually stay away from 'em. But then, its their way of living. We ought to respect 'em ( Yep.. I too am trying to be the noble gentleman with the afore mentioned "respect".) (Ref. : Def. no.. 1)

The fun quotient as well as the population decreases exponentially as you move from the first kind to the last,though this order may not signify which is the right way to be. They co exist, they cross paths, sometimes shed their innate nature to be a "better" social being. But given their day, they 'd choose their own way of life, right to many, wrong to others, fun to many, boring to others! It just doesn't matter.

Well then the million dollar question comes.. Where do I belong in all this!! Of course that introspection was the trigger point of this piece. Well I guess I'll leave it for others to decide.. ;)

Crap.. Its tough to think of a title..!

Post 2 :

Yup it very much is.. especially when you are half awake in your bed, sipping a hot cup of Nescafe and your brain is still facing problems with a typical "Sunday morning cold start". and ofcourse, when all this is to fulfill a "bet" you had with a friend, all that matters is to type some words that make some sense. Who cares if they don't! :D

I thought it would be fair to scribble a note on the very tool that has led me to posting this. The internet, social networking, blogging and blah blah blah!! We always hear the elders cursing it everyday and the youth worshiping it the very next moment. Though the stand on this stands divided even today, lemme sneak in my li'l not-so-important view on this.

Every era has its fad, every generation its identity.We tend to refer to that age with just that single trait tat marked it.But the kind of crusade my generation has been on, the buzzword keeps changing every other day; literally!

I can't comment much on the life preceding the last 25 yrs (thats when yours truly had come into being in this mad mad world!! :) ) But from then on, its been a bumpy ride. Television was catching on when i was busy taking my first steps. Globalization had become the war cry in India when I was still learning to spell "Apple". For me, the word globalization meant nothing more than bad grades in the dictation tests. LOL. The world was getting smaller, and then, the find of the century, computer and internet was also getting "globalized". No longer a privilege of the elite few, this magic wand took on the wings of Moore's law. The exponential growth, in technology and reach, was nothing short of breathtaking. The breakneck speed at which the Internet churned out miracles, which saw some rise and become iconic, while some just faded away into obscurity. and oh meanwhile, oblivious to all this, li'l me was growing, slowly finding my way into this world! I still remember the "oh this piece of shit is haunted" kinda look my granny gave, when she saw me on the webcam the first time and also the 5 yr old like excitement my mom beamed, when she could move the cursor of the mouse wherever she wanted it to ! That is the level of happiness and celebration these "guyz" brought into our lives. and now, finally it has arrived at the latest piece of "junk" (yeah my old fashioned aunt calls it that). "Orkut". Oops.. sorry I went couple of decades back in time. I meant Facebook..! :D (No offence Orkut but its no secret that your demise is fast approaching! )

Gone are those days, where old friends and classmates meet only on silver jubilee reunions.. Gone are those days where life is personal and not for others to peek into. Gone are those days when parents had to arrange the marriage for their kids through Matrimonial brokers. (Yup.. I know living examples who have hooked up through ORK/FB and settled down.. ). Things are changing.. and yes.. the pace is hard to imagine. I wonder if someone is keeping count of the average age of FB or Twitter users. I am sure it would have halved in just 2 years. (it would have been even lesser if not for the eager n anxious elders joining the bandwagon. ;)).

This has turned out to be an inevitable line in the checklist for daily living. The other day I heard my friend sneeze in the next room and next second I get his update on my FB "I am sick and it sucks"!!!! :) A friend was pissed when I didn't accept his "friend's request". But then how does it matter when you live just 2 blocks away and we catch up almost everyday...!! :D

And you know what the funniest part is.. I am kinda turning into one of the above. FB is indeed a virtual life. You make friends with people who you can't in real life. You stay in touch with people you could have never been with.. You can cry out loud in despair.. and you will find some jobless guy sympathizing in his "comment" ( Not tat it makes much of a difference. ;) ) You can show off the kind of amazing time you are having.. and there will be people out there to admire u! :)

This is kinda getting boring.. Both to write and read! LOL.. Guess i'll close with this observation.. With the advent of these.. Life has become two fold (the inception kinds ;) ).. One in which you are.. and another in which you wanna be...!!! Hope people don't mess it up and end up confused which one is real finally!! :D My advice : Keep a totem.. I already got one!!! :D LOL